This song simultaneously wags a finger at our web-obsessed generation and allows us to laugh at ourselves for our myspace lameness. If you get bored late night surfing, check out the video on youtube. Travis is pretty hilarious.

Taste: Soy Crisps by Gensoy

Most grocery stores carry these, and they come in flavors like apple cinnamon, salt and vinegar, and garlic. I swear I’m not one of those vegan soy chicks (usually) but these things are damn good for snacking on. Unlike regular deep-fried chips (ew animal fat), these baked sensations have heart healthy protein (shameless plug, I should charge an advertising fee). Beware of the weird colors though. They’re light brown and look like dried out mouse intestines. Close your eyes and swallow… bitch.

Smell: “Fierce” perfume by Abercrombie

This is one Abercrombie product which doesn’t have the brand name screened garishly across it. Wearing it will not make you a walking billboard, or scream (tastelessly) that you have money and want everyone to know it. It’s a women’s perfume… not fruity or floral… it’s husky, something like pheromones in a bottle. I get compliments nearly every time I wear it.

Watch: “Gattaca”

This movie has cemented itself in my top 5 (alongside Gladiator and the Prestige). It was released in 1997, and with its stellar cast (Jude Law, Uma Therman, Ethan Hawke) I’m really surprised that more people haven’t heard of it. The combination of scientific intrigue, romance (sex scenes), and solid plot line make it a good one to rent, borrow, buy or steal. Memorable quote: “There’s no gene for fate.”

Touch: Yourself?

I was going for a five senses thing, but I’m stuck here. I can’t promote masturbation without being taboo (girls don’t masturbate, they giggle and blush). Go for it, connect four! If you don’t (in my opinion), you’re either fucking crazy, missing out, or otherwise satisfied (think: relationship).